You can become an effective communicator when you build your communication skills. To
master any skill set you start by learning and understanding the principles. After you appreciate the principles, then you learn and practice the techniques. It starts with principles because that addresses the “why?” behind the techniques.
Communication is imperfect, even when you get good. Recognize that the message you intended to send is not necessarily the message received and understood. That’s because the message in
your mind is not the message in the mind of your listener or reader.
Communication is two-way. That means both sending and receiving. Writing and reading.
Speaking and listening. Even when you aren’t speaking you are sending messages with your expressions, body language and dress. We read meaning into what we observe. How you show up sends a message and makes an impression. We could misinterpret. However, that’s the
message we remember.
The phrase “I love you” clearly conveys both content and emotion. And so do most sentences
and words. “You’re hired.” “You’re fired.” Words and how they are said trigger emotions even when not intended. Mathematical equations do not convey emotion, unless you hate or love math. Force equals mass times acceleration. How did you feel about that formula?
Tone, gestures, posture, expressions and movement don’t necessarily convey the whole message.
Sometimes they do. Most importantly these non-verbals determine what we believe about your credibility and honesty.
Have you every sent an email that you wish you could take back? That’s usually a negative
message that we want to erase. Unfortunately, positive messages need reinforcement while
negative messages tend to be carved in stone.
Relationships are built on communication. The more you communicate, the stronger and more
lasting the relationship. That’s true for personal, career and business relationships. That’s why
we celebrate birthdays and anniversaries every year. That’s why the team needs to hear from the
leader and customers want to hear from the supplier.
Contrary to the previous point, there is a limit to the amount of information and contacts. There
is the point of overwhelm or stalking. “Yes, I heard you. Now stop talking so I can think.”
Beware of simply making noise.
Sometimes simply talking about it doesn’t solve the problem. There needs to be some action
taken to address the problem – with the accompanying communication. What is the root cause of
the problem and how can we fix it. Yes, start the conversation and move to problem-fixing.
We started to learn how to communicate when we were born. It started with crying to signal discomfort. Then we learned the power of imitating a smile. Then gurling noises, eventually
words followed by sentences. We learned to write and speak in public. The danger is when you believe you have arrived. You can continue to enhance your communication skills if you want.
I encourage you to continue the learning and you will enjoy the rewards of becoming a superior
communicator.
Review these nine principles of communication and apply the techniques that deliver on the
principles.
Imagine the results for you when you communicate more effectively.